Envy is a Deadly Sin
by abaikgirl
Summary: Envy's past reveiled. UPDATED! LAST TWO CHAPTERS IN finally....
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
Monster

Darkness surrounds everything and I could everything and nothing at the same time. I stood seemingly on nothing when all of a sudden everything was bright. It turn to see a imposing gate. Fear grips me as the doors swing open and thousands of eyes stare down at me. I step back and try to run away when black hands come out of it to engulf me. I fight them but they re too strong. I'm pulled into the gate—

I wake up screaming. Looking around my room I find myself safe and the gate nowhere in sight. Leaning back I realize that I am covered in a cold sweat and the sheets are tangled around me.  
My bed is four postered and my room is dark and spacious, yet devoid of any personal touch. I haven't been around long. Only a few weeks. I am still trying to understand my existence.  
Mother says my name is Envy and that I came from the gate that plagues my dreams. She told me I am not human like she is. I am a homunculus. An artificial being with no soul. I wonder I can move and think without a soul in me.

I climb out of the tangled sheets and light a lamp. I then wander to look out of my bedroom window. Outside it is dark because I live in an underground city. Mother and I are the only ones here. Sometimes I think we are the only ones in this world and the land above is only a myth she tells me to keep my questions silent. The light from the lamp throws my shadow in the way of my view and my reflection is all I can really see. My blonde hair falls over my golden eyes and pale skin. Seeing it, a flash of memory comes to mind.

A man with blonde hair and golden eyes looks through his glasses at me. He looks fearful. Then he is gone and I'm not sure where he went.

I dwell on the memory for a moment while studying my reflection. After a few moments I turn away and wander downstairs. If anyone else where to look at me they would say I was eight even though I was created not too long ago. Mother dresses me in plain clothing and gave me shoes but I never wear them.  
I find her in the library writing something in a book. She looks young and smells of sweet flowers. I don't approach her but instead linger in the doorway.

"Dante?" I ask. She hated to be called mother.

"What is it Envy?" she doesn't look up.

"I had another nightmare. About the Gate."

"You don't dream." She said as if she was simply explaining that a snake can't fly.

"Yes I do." I insisted. "I have the same dream every night. The gate appears and then—"

Her book slams shut and I stop speaking. Mother looks at me and then stands up leaving her book on the chair. She walks over to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. "Don't lie to me Envy, it's unbecoming of you." She then walks out of the library.

Like a lost dog, I follow.

"Who is that man?" I ask.

"what man?"

"The one who looks like me. He had blonde hair and gold eyes. And wears glasses. I have memories of him but I don't know who he is."

"Oh yes. That's your father Hoenhiem."

"Where is he?'

"He ran away."

"Why?"

"Because he thought you were a monster."

"Am I a monster Dante?"

"Yes."

Mother has me learn alchemy. The library is filled with books on  
the subject. I tried to perform some once but nothing happened. Mother said it was because only humans can perform it. 

"Then why am I learning it?"

"Because humans who do alchemy with try to kill you. If you know how it works then you can counter it well. And because you will help me get another philosophers stone."

"What's that?"

"Find out."

So now I sit in the library reading. Looking at the first line in the book I read it aloud.

"Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. That is alchemy's first law."

I think about that phrase for a few moments. Humans cannot gain without loosing so does that mean I can gain without giving? The idea's exhilarating.

Months filled with alchemy study pass by quickly. Mother drills me constantly. I have to recognize circles. Understand the law of equivalent exchange. Learn what elements can be mixed to make certain others and which cannot. It's tiring but it seems to please mother so I persist to study.

I start to dwell on the first law. I can gain without giving, of that I'm sure now. But what do I want?

I remember mother telling me how my father ran away. He abandoned me. The thought makes me feel angry and sometimes hot water fills my eyes and runs down my face. I'm not sure why this happens. Mother calls it crying.

But now I hate my father more than ever. I hate the way he created me and then left me alone here. I want to stop looking like him but I haven't found a way.

More months pass and I stop learning alchemy and start learning about the world above. I learn history and study battles and politics. One day I am looking at a picture of a governor and decide to try something. 

In one of mothers books it said the homunculi have powers greater than humans. So I decide to figure out what my power is and hope that I can use it to change my appearance.  
Looking at the picture of the governor I think for a moment of the face and his body and the clothes he is wearing. The image is vividly engraved into my mind……

A flash of light runs up my body and I feel a slight tingle in my skin. Another glance at the mirror and I saw myself as a spitting image of the governor I had imagined. I grinned evilly and then thought about changing back. Another flash of light and I watch with delight as my appearance changed back to the way it was. I think about my new found power with increasing delight. I get up and run to the kitchen where Dante is separated herbs on a table. 

"Dante! Look!" I exclaim skidding in. I change into the image of the governor again and then change back. "Isn't it great?" I ask.  
She smiles a cruel, secret smile as she bends down and ruffles my hair. "Yes that's wonderful Envy."

After my daily study's, I sit and think of how I wanted to look. I don't want to look like my father anymore so I devise a new me. I change my hair so that it's long and braided in multiple braids. Looking in the mirror I decide I like the way it looks and change the color of my hair to a deep green and like that even more. Next I change my outfit. I decide on a tight black shirt with a turtle-neck collar but no sleeves and a pair of black shorts. Looking at myself in the mirror I see my oroborus. Mother had pointed it out once. She said it was what marked me as a homunculus. I examine my left thigh, amused by the design.  
I add gloves with the fingers cut off and a pair of socks with no heel or toe to my outfit. Then a headband to hold my new hair out of my eyes; my gold eyes. The only part of my appearance that I kept. I put an upside-down triangle on the headband.

Mother seems amused by my new look.

I learned about the philosophers stone. Mothers books say that you need human souls to make the stone. She and father used the souls of everyone who once lived in the city around us to make their stone.

Again, I'm not sure if I care or not.

Two years turn into three. Then three into twenty. I age at the rate of a normal human but I seem to be getting faster as I get older. I find my new body to be agile and light. I can jump kick and spin farther than I thought I could.

Mother is aging too. Her body is old and decayed now. The scent of flowers is now repulsive and intoxicating. I start to avoid her until she calls me into the library one day.

"I'm going to jump bodies again." She explains. "you know what this means, don't you?"

"I know. It means your soul is going to be transferred to another body."

"Very good. I should be back in a week."

Then she's gone.

I spend this new loneliness wandering the city. I quickly learn all the nooks and streets in it and find myself very much at home. I brood over thoughts of my mother and father.

My father, Hoenhiem, didn't love me. He wouldn't have abandoned me if he did. But mother doesn't seem to have that much love for me either. She insists that I can't feel. She's wrong. The emptiness that fills me now is as real as any feeling. She treats me harshly and isn't patient with my mistakes. She can't love me…..

But why else would she keep me around? For the simple reason that she wants me to make another philosophers stone for her?

I try to deny the truth of this fact, but I know it's true.

I feel heavy inside. I cry. But no one can hear me.


	2. Chapter 2

I wonder what it would be like to have another person living with us. Not a human, but another homunculus. It would almost like having a sibling. A younger brother or sister. Then it wouldn't be so lonely here.

Dante comes home, interrupting my thoughts with the sound of the front door opening. I get up and go downstairs. She had a new, younger body. This time she is a blonde with a petite frame and kind features.

"Hello Envy, it's nice to see you're fine despite my long journey." She greats me.

"Hi." I reply, voice devoid of emotion. "So when do I get to go above the surface? You keep saying that I need to go up there."

"That's true, I do need you to learn how to blend with humans and how to manipulate them."

"Why would I need to manipulate humans?'

"It's the only way you can get them to make a philosophers stone. Humans are such idiotic and weak creatures. I'm sure you'll find it easy to do."

"Aren't you human?"

She smirks. "Yes I was human. Now I am immortal."

She walks past me and out of the room. No more is said on the matter.

Nearly fifty more years pass uninterrupted. I've stopped aging and I wonder if I will ever go up to the surface. Dante always says I will go when I'm ready. I don't believe her. I know she's hiding something, but I don't know what.

I'm ashamed to say it, but I still cry. I cry with overwhelming sadness and bitterness for my father who left me. 

Dante walks into my room while I am crying and I don't even notice her until she speaks.

"Why are you crying, Envy?"

"Because I hate Hoenhiem. Isn't that what people do when they're filled with hate?"

"Yes but you don't feel."

"Yes I do." I growl standing up. I turn to face her, my face still streaked with tears.

"Only humans feel. You are not human therefore you have no emotions. You only exist to do the bidding of the humans who made you. That means you serve me."

"Shut up!" I yell. I run at her and punch her hard in the stomach.

She seems shocked and falls to her knees.

I stand over her. "Not so tough now, are you mother dearest?" I mock.

"You'll pay for that my son." She growls clapping her hands. I've seen her do alchemy before and step back as her hands slam into the ground. The floor rises and shapes into hands that hold my arms and legs. I struggle but my new restraints hold firm.  
Dante stands up and claps again. She pulls a spear out of the wall with three oddly positioned tips. "You homunculi are very durable but you have a very blatant weakness." She says calmly walking around me. Her finger traces the red cord that runs across my back. "These cords distribute your power. And if I do this—" she rammed the spears tips into the cords. I let out a cry of surprised pain. "Now you can't move." She says with a smile coming back around.

She's right. My body feels cold and numb. I can only barely lift my head. "You bi—" I start but she slaps me.

"You will learn you place soon Envy." She said walking away. She closes the door and I am alone.

She leaves me with the spear in my back and restrained by her alchemically made hands for five years. When she releases me my mind is set.

I hate her as much as my father and I will do as she says for now. But as soon as I get the opportunity to leave her I will.  
I don't love my mother anymore. I'm not even really sure if I ever loved her to begin with.

Another fifty years pass and I grow callous and secluded. Dante insists I call her "master" now. I'm afraid of her and her power over me. I knew my body could heal because of the red stones but I didn't know of this weakness. This flaw homunculi were given. I guess we aren't allowed to be perfect even if we aren't human.

Dante reminds me of me five year punishment often. She doesn't seem to forgive me for hitting her. Forgiveness is a human trait.  
That's her excuse. I suppose I think the same. I won't ever forgive her for what she did to me. How she treats me. I will never forgive father for leaving us. For leaving me. For leaving me with her. For leaving me all alone. Loneliness would be better than this.

If I ever see Hoenhiem I will kill him.

When I am 216 Dante sends me above ground. She leads me out of the city and to a place where ancient ruins and water surround us. There is a passage and I follow her up that until we reach the inside of a church.

"Go and mingle with the humans today Envy." She says sitting in  
one of the pews." I'll wait for you here."

Making no reply I change my form into a young boy with auburn hair and plain clothes. I haven't managed to change my eye color. Yet. I will soon. I was a fool as a child to ever like my eyes like this.

The human world is busy and loud. It's exhilarating to be among so many people. And to get away from her. The people of Central city bustle around, not aware there was a homunculus among them. The day is quickly spent and night falls. I like it and stop at a local bar. Dante had given me some money and I buy a drink.

The alcohol isn't too appealing but I drink it while looking around at the humans passing by.

A man approaches me with a kind smile. I look up at him and examine his features. He's about forty with graying hair. He finally speaks.

"Excuse me young man I don't mean to be rude but," he rings his hands a bit. "You wouldn't happen to be Hoenhiem's son, would you?"

I sit up straight and nearly drop the glass I had been raising to my mouth. I look at him.

"I can tell from your golden eyes. No one else has those."

The glass slips from my hands and crashes to the ground, bitter whiskey mixed with broken glass and concrete. I stand up and slam my hands on the table. "Don't you ever say his name again." I yell.

People all around stop and the chatter is silenced. I don't care. "I don't know how you know my father but if you say his name again I will kill you."

The old man seems shocked and steps back, unsure of what to say. I run off in a rage. Finally I slow down and find my way to the church, still upset by what had happened.

Dante doesn't say anything as we go back underground.

Somehow I think she knows what happened. 

Another fifty years and still nothing. Humans advance a bit more.

Dante jumps to another body. No, nothing really happens.

Dante calls me over one day and tells me something. She's going to create another homunculus. I ask her why and she says that she needs two if she is ever to get another philosophers stone.

My new "sibling" is going to be made tonight.

Sitting in my room I remember wondering what it would be like to have another homunculus around. I should have been more careful. The idea doesn't appeal to me much anymore. 

Standing up I decide to change how I look so that this new "sibling" won't guess my past. I add a skirt over my shorts and shrink my shirt so my stomach is exposed. Now if they ask me what I really look like, I can just say I don't remember. And I don't want to remember. I want to forget. If I cold only get rid of these golden eyes then I could truly separate myself from my father. 

Again I curse myself for leaving them. Now they're stuck. Not to be removed. I lay on my bed and absently wonder if Dante had created the array yet.

The next morning there's the sound of someone eating in the living room and I wander in. A man with dark, spiky hair is eating red stones greedily in a chair. He doesn't seem to notice me.

"Hello Envy, it's nice to see you're awake." Dante says sweetly coming from behind. "I'd like you to meet your new sibling.  
Greed." She says to the man. He looks up and over his shoulder to look at us. His eyes are purple and bits of the stones are around his mouth.

Greed, I muse, what a fitting name.

"Come over here and meet your big brother." Dante says.

Greed smashes the last of the stones in his mouth before getting up and coming over to us. He wipes his face with the back of his hand and shoves his hands into the pockets of his black pants. He's taller than me and if anyone had looked at us they would think he was older.

"This is Envy, your big brother." Dante says putting a hand on my shoulder. "Envy, this is Greed."

"Hey." He says with a slight grin, revealing razor sharp teeth.

"Hi." I reply with barely any emotion. 

"Envy, I want you to teach Greed alchemy and about the outside world." Dante says.

"Why me?" I ask. "Should you be the one to do that, seeing as you're the only one of us who can actually perform it."

"Because I want you two to get used to each other." Dante says with a smile that secretly said. "And because I'll kill you if you don't"

I lick my teeth as I look up at Greed. He didn't seem too bright. He didn't look like a homunculus at all. But I lead him to the library anyways. 

I hand him a stack of books and sit down in a chair. "Read those." I tell him simply.

I watch with slight disgust as he meekly opens the first book and looks at it. He seems meek and submissive. Then again, I was the same when I was first created but it didn't stop me from feeling slightly annoyed with every move he made.

He reads the first line out loud. "Human kind cannot gain anything—"

"Read to yourself." I bark.

He jumps slightly but goes back to reading.

I can only keep my anger contained for a few more moments before I get fed up. I stand up and make for the door.

"Where are you going?" Greed asks.

"That's none of your business." I reply shortly. "just read those."

I leave before he can reply. Walking through the streets I brood childishly. I'm not really sure what makes me hate him so much. He hasn't done anything to me. Yet. But I still feel unsettled and restless.

Wandering around doesn't do much so I return to the house. I don't even stop to check on Greed in the library. I go straight to my room and sit on my bed. 

After Greed read all of the books on alchemy, which took a surprisingly short time, I drill him on the knowledge he was supposed to have obtained.

I make him recite elements, draw and identify circles, rattle off the elements comprising the human body and identify a successful and unsuccessful transmutation.

I love it when he gets answers wrong. Then I have an excuse to lash out at him. An excuse to be cruel and hateful. During these sessions I realize I only truly hated two people but I have enough leftover to use on him.

By the end of each day Greed is mentally exhausted and emotionally numb. I can tell that when he stops fighting back and starts to believe the lies I feed him.  
I know it's cruel.

I know it's callous.

I don't care. 

Greed eventually completes his studies on alchemy and I'm ordered to take him above ground. Apparently some humans have discovered the passage here and were going to investigate.

"You know what to do, don't you Envy?"

I smile cruelly, "Yeah, destroy them right?"

"Make sure Greed sees how you do it; perhaps he can learn how a real homunculus is supposed to act.

It was the only compliment I have ever gotten from her and it made me feel cocky.

I lead Greed up to the surface but stop as we enter the church. "Hide behind the entrance." I order closing the door.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asks.

"Watch and learn."

I've killed humans who have tried to discover the city before.

Killing always brings a spark of excitement to me. I enjoy every moment.

I change into a young girl dressed in rags and hide under one of the pews. The soldiers burst in and one of them start barking orders to search the place.

One soldier comes and looks under the pew where I'm hiding. I easily fool him by looking up innocently. His face softens and pulls his gun back, stretching his hand forward. "Come on sweetheart. It's ok."

Inwardly I smile. Humans are so easy to manipulate. I put my small hand around his wrist and he smiles.

The he stops as in a flash of light and change back and snap his wrist like a twig. Before he can even scream I break his neck and push his limp body away.

Of course now the others notice me and stop their searching. They fire but I jump and dodge their bullets. I kick and attack them brutally, all the time smiling a cruel grin of pleasure.  
When the last one falls dead I stand over them, admiring my handy work. "You can come out little brother, I'm done playing with them." I sing.

Greed timidly comes out and looks and the bodies. "You don't play fair." He states.

"I never play fair. Even if I did, I'd still win." I kick a gun out of my way and drag the bodies in a neat line. I can feel Greed watch me but I don't pause to explain. After lining them up I dip my finger in the spilt blood and write above them. "God's justice is swift".

"What's that supposed to mean?" Greed asks, reading my message.

"It's just to fuel rumors and discourage anyone else from coming here. It always works."

I open the door and walk down the stairs. Greed follows, closing it behind him. As we walk I muse when he'll start to become corrupt. Probably when he discovers his powers, that's what tipped me towards my current state. I wonder what his power could be. Can't be all that great….

"Hey, Envy?" Greed asks.

"What?"

"Dante told me each homunculus has an individual power. What's yours?"

I smile and keep walking. "I'm Envy, that means I can be whoever I want. I can change my appearance to fit what I want to look like."

"Oh."

He is silent for a few moments. 

"So is that what you really look like?"

I saw that question coming. "I don't remember what I look like." I reply simply.

More silence.

"So what's my power?"

"I don't know. I thought you're supposed to figure that out. Or maybe you don't have one because your mind couldn't comprehend it."

Greed didn't reply. It's so easy to destroy him emotionally.


	3. Chapter 3

**Everyone who reviewed has my deepest thanks. **

**And everyone who's waited forever for me to update has my deepest apologies nervous laugh I blame my exams.**

**anyways! On with the show, shall we?**

Hoenhiem

Time passes and Greed's innocence passes also. He becomes cruel over the years. He's slowly realizing what he is supposed to do; destroy. It's amusing to see Greed become cruel. But my amusement is shattered when I find something in Dante's library.  
I'm not sure why I was looking on top of the bookshelves. Maybe I was bored. Maybe I was curious. Maybe it was a combination of the two.

I'm not sure.

But the reason is put at naught compared to what I found.

It's my fathers journal. The notes he used on that night. The ones he used when he made me. When he brought me back. When he wanted me back.

Then he saw what I was.

He must have left them. Were they such a cruel reminder of the sin he had committed that he left his life's work behind? I can see the book falling out of his hands to the floor next to the array. I remember hearing something drop a few moments after my creation.

Now I know what it was.

I sit in the library reading the notes looking for some clue. Some inkling of what my father was thinking when he wrote these plans.

Suddenly someone tugs hard on one of my dreadlocks and I put the book down long enough to smash Greed's face with my foot. Getting up I move to another chair, still reading the notes.

"Damn Envy, you're in a mood today aren't you?" Greed asked  
standing up.

I pretend not to hear him. Suddenly the book is pulled from my hands and I turn to see Greed examining it.

"Give it back." I yell jumping over the chair to grab the book back.

Greed holds it out of my reach and reads the notes.

"Reading Dante's alchemy notes big brother?" Greed asks.

"they're not hers." I reply jumping to try and get it. Greed's taller than I am and the book is too high.

"Then who's are they?"

"Give it back."

"Come on N, You're too short. So tell me and I'll give it back to you."

I growl and with a flash of light I change myself so I'm as tall as Greed. I snatch the book back and hit him over the head with it. He seems slightly taken aback by the sudden change. Not that I didn't expect that, he's only seen me transform a few times.

As I walk out of the library Greed says one dreaded word. "Hoenhiem."

I stop and turn slowly, fear and hate filling my entire being. Greed was holding a page that had fallen out of the old note book. It must have come out when I hit him. Silently I cursed myself for being reckless.

"So who's Hoenhiem?" Greed asks. "He must have some meaning to you. I've never seen you look like that before."  
I realize my fear was obvious and quickly masked it with a scowl. But I'm not sure what to say and for a long time silence fills the gap between us.

"Hoenhiem was Envy's father." Dante's voice said behind me.

I turn and look at her. She has that cruel smile playing on her lips  
as if this whole conversation were some great joke.

She ignores me. "He created Envy but left after he saw what he was;" Her eyes finally turn to look into mine as she speaks two words. "A monster."

Greed laughs. "Is that so? So is that why you're looking at his note, big brother? You miss your dad?"

My anger rises up in me. "Shut it!" I yell. "Just shut it!" I storm out and don't look back.

Bursting into my room and slam the door hard. I sit on my bed and finish reading the notes. I reach the end and throw the book at the wall. Pages fly out and flutter to the ground as I put my head in my hands.

Nothing. All that was recorded there was mechanical dictations. Emotionlessly and perfectly written alchemy notes on human transmutation. No hint of who my father was or what he was thinking.

I'm not sure what I had expected to find in the journal. Certainly not that.

I get up and climb out my window. Even if I am three stories up, it's easy to climb down and go off into the city. I wander down the empty streets, brooding over the new information I've been fed.

Greed knows about father now. Great. I can only imagine what kind of torture he'll ensue on me now. And Dante coming in with that smart smile of hers. She knows he'll torture me with it. I don't think she cares…..

I hear footsteps behind me and stop. Cocking my head I see Greed standing behind me. My eyes narrow and my neutral expression evaporates into contempt. I turn my back to him.

"What do you want Greed?"

"You dropped this." He tosses the journal at me. I catch it. Pages are still missing. I throw it back to the ground.

"For good reason. What were you doing in my room anyways?"

"Looking for you. Why else?"

"What? Can't entertain yourself with out me? Too bad." I turn and start to walk away, hoping he'll leave me alone. I'm not in the mood to deal with him.

"So who's your mother?"

I stop.

"I mean if you have a father then you have to have a mother too, right?"

"That's none of your business." I reply shortly, continuing on.

I hear him running and jump out of the way as he punches the place I was moments ago. Landing on top of a building I look at him. "So you want to fight now huh?"

He looks up at me and smirks. It's then I notice his hands. They were no longer human and fleshy. But instead they were black and claw-like.

"You like it?" he asks, holding a hand up so I can get a better look. "It's my power, my ultimate shield. It's harder than anything you can break."

"I don't need to break it." I reply. "I just need to break you." I jump off the building and leap towards him. He moves back so I land just in front of him.

He laughs and the shield spreads farther. Soon he's fully encased, no flesh exposed. His teeth become longer and his eyes are bright red.

Undaunted I continue my attacks. We dodge and hit destroy several buildings in the process. Suddenly we break and I skid across the courtyard of ruble we've created. He skids away too and we're still for a few moments.

Examining him I notice he's not even scratched. Then again, neither am I. This could last awhile. Unless…..

I lift my head up and smirk. "What's the matter baby brother? Don't tell me you're tired already."

He smiles. "Not at all. I'm just getting warmed up." He runs at me, but I don't move. I stand there smiling, because I know something he doesn't.

At the last moment I transform and stab Greed in his cords. He looks at me, shocked to see I had changed into a mirror image of him. He can't move and lets out a gasp of pain. "You bast—"  
I pull my new claws out and hit him hard over the head before he can finish his curse. He falls to the ground and his shield retracts.

"So much for your ultimate shield." I scoff. Then I turn and walk away. I don't look back to see if he gets up. I really don't care.

Dante wants me to take Greed above ground. "He needs to convincingly mingle with humans if he's to help you create another philosophers stone. Maybe then he'll start acting like a real homunculus." She looks pointedly at me.

I smile cruelly. "Sure thing." I walk out, silently gloating over the only compliment I have ever received from her.

I took Greed up to the surface and we walked around. He had never been out in the city and was practically giddy with excitement. I'm disgusted by this change in his mood even though I was the same way one my first trip.

Greed stops to look at something in a shop window and I lean against the glass looking at the crowd. I've transformed myself so all that I was wearing a set of plain cloths and blended in with the other humans easily.

I catch a glimpse of a familiar face and I stiffen slightly. I follow a man with my eyes, unable to believe I was seeing what I was.  
It's him. My father.

Hoenhiem of Light.

I stand up straight and Greed looks at me. He must have seen my change in expression because he asks "Something wrong 'N?"

"Stay here." I growl, walking out into the crowd. I easily single Hoenhiem out. I put my hand on his shoulder to make him turn around and face me.

He starts to say something but his words evaporate when he sees me. It must be my gold eyes that I inherited from  
him. "You're—what are you doing here?" he stutters.

"I could ask you the same question." I hit him hard in the  
stomach and send him flying through the crowd.

People look at us. I hear someone scream and a circle forms around us as I advance. "You bastard." I curse. "You dare call yourself justified when you won't even face what you've created."

He sat up, blood running out of the corner of his mouth. "I—I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to be like this."

"Shut up!" I yell. "You knew what you were doing. You knew what you would create. You're not sorry yet!" I start to run at him but I hear my name yelled and suddenly someone's holding  
my arms back.

I look and see Greed struggling to keep me from destroying my father. "Let me go. This has nothing to do with you."

Hoenhiem stands. "So that's what your mother named you? Envy?"

"Mother?" Greed asks.

"I told you to shut up old man! That bitch never did anything for me! She believes I have no feelings and treats me like some mindless doll. But you're not much better; Creating me and then running away?"

I know Greed's hearing all of this but I don't care. I'm just frustrated that he's interfering and stopping me from killing Hoenhiem.

"You don't understand. Just listen to me. I was afraid of you and I still am."

"Oh really?"

"I understand what I did and that I need to take responsibility for what I did. But you're not him. You're not my son. Just an imitation."

Tears threaten to leak out of my eyes and anger turns to fury. "Is that what I am now? An imitation? I'm your creation, your son whether you like it or not!"

"I'm sorry. I truly am." He says and then he runs away.

Again.

"Let—me—go!" I growl trying to break free from Greed.

"No, we've gotta get out of here." He drags me off to an empty part of the city. I kick and struggle before his arms finally release me.

"Ok, I think we're safe."

I turn and swing at him. My fist collides with his back sending him crashing into a building. "You stopped me! Why?" I roar.

"You were going to kill him." He says, standing up.

"That's my purpose, Greed. To kill him. And if you ever get in my way like that again, I'll kill you."


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to thank everyone who commented on my last chapters! **

**I love you all! **

**And this fic took FOREVER to write thanks to my off-the-wall decision to write it ALL in first person present. Kids, don't try this at home. Well, you could, but you'd be lucky if you had any sanity by the end. **

**And without further adue, here is chapter three. **

**Gluttony is introduced! **

**Read! **

**Review! **

**Please don't flame me, for I am fire proof.**

Chapter 4  
Without a Thought

Greed avoided me for several days after that. The incident was never brought up again between us. I suppose it was me trying to forget the anger that was uncontrollable that day. And I'm sure Greed was afraid because he knew I would keep my promise.

Not much happened for a long time.

Then Dante's body began to rot. 

I've seen it happen many ties before but it never ceases to amuse me how easily her body will begin to crumble because of her transplanted soul. It takes less time to happen than the last time. Just a little less, but it makes me feel a little superior to her. She has an illusion of immortality. I have it as close as it gets. 

And she knows that.

I guess that's why she treats Greed and me with such shortness. She knows that her immortality is but a temporary thing. And she knows as long as we have red stones we can live forever. If that's true then the bad treatment is worth it. As long as she's miserable, I'm happy.

But she wants us to go and make her another philosophers stone. Greed and I know what it entails. We know the sacrifices necessary.

"There's a young alchemist who lives in Nettlesbreast, a small town just outside of Central City. Her name is Jamie Lee. She lost her whole family when she was young and is willing to do anything to bring them back."

No more needs to be said. Greed grins. "I get it, so you want us to use her desperation to our advantage and convince her to create a philosophers stone."

"Or at least spark others to complete it, if she doesn't finish." I add.

"Very good." Dante says with that smile of hers that makes my stomach twist. "Now go."

We left Central City and traveled by foot towards Nettlesbreast. It was easy for us seeing as we don't tire easily and didn't really need to eat much. It was quiet during the three days we walked. I didn't say much to Greed and he didn't say much to me. There wasn't anything to be said. 

We were almost to the town when we decided to rest on the side of the road. I gathered some firewood and Greed and I made a fire. It was more to keep people aware of us than warmth. Cold didn't affect us much anymore.

I poked the fire with a stick and watched the sticks be slowly consumed by the fire. Finally I tossed the stick in and leaned back with a sigh. Closing my eyes and let my mind drift.

"So any plans on how we're going to approach this girl?"

I open one eye to look at Greed before closing it again. "I'm not really sure. I was thinking a direct seductive approach. Get her to trust us and trick her into doing what we want. If she's gullible it should be easy."

"What if she's not?"

"Then we'll just have to convincing, won't we?" I lay down on my side and keep my eyes closed. I feel slightly tired and not much like talking. Especially not with Greed.

There's the sound of something running and Greed's shield going up. 

"Uh—Envy?"

I open one eye again and sit up with a heavy sigh. Clamped onto Greed's arm is a large fat man with white, beady eyes and black cloths. He has a bald head and is drooling all over Greed's arm  
hungrily.

"I found something." Greed comments, looking a bit disgusted.

"I'd say something found you." I reply standing up. Walking over to our new guest he lets go of Greed's arm.

"Hey, who are you?" I ask.

He looks up at me. "I don't have a name." I replies in a thick, high voice.

"No name huh?" I ask looking at Greed as if to say "what do we do with it?"

The message must have been received because Greed simply shrugs and asks. "Do you see the oroborus?"

"Nope, but I'm seeing cords."

"I'm hungry." The man comments, a large tongue drooping out of his mouth. There, imprinted as plain as day was the oroborus.  
Great, we have another homunculus to add to the group. 

"Well I can see that Gluttony." Greed replies. "I think that'll be your name, Gluttony."

"Fitting." I reply. "We'll have to show him to Dante. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll eat her." I return to my original seat, lying down on my side again.

"Yeah right, even your luck isn't that good."

I smirk. "I can dream, can't I?"

Dream…..

I sit up slowly as a sudden thought enters me mind. "Hey Greed, have you ever had a dream before?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer."

"Yeah, of course I have."

"What was it about?"

Gluttony sits next to Greed and watches our conversation with interest.

"It was about the Gate." Greed replies after a long moment of thought. "Why?"

"Dante told me we don't have dreams once. I thought it was just me maybe, but if you have them too…." Then that would mean we have feelings and are as human as humans themselves.

"So if have them too, what does it mean?" Greed prodded.

I look at him for a moment. "Look just forget it." I lay on my back and close my eyes. This time I fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY! .. 

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Chapter 5 Without a Voice 

I wake a little before dawn. Greed and Gluttony are asleep next to the burnt out fire. I sit up and look at the ashes absently. I had another dream about the gate. But this time I was just standing in front of it, looking for some unknown clue. I don't dwell on it long because soon Greed stirs and we move on again, this time with Gluttony in tow.

We arrive at the town of Nettlesbreast and start asking around for Jamie Lee.

"You're lucky to have arrived when you did." A middle-aged man told us. "Jamie's just come back from Central City. She's at the graveyard this morning."

Greed and I look at each other but no words are exchanged. We thank the man and move on.

"So now what?" Greed asks.

I shrug. "I guess we'll go visit her in the graveyard. There isn't a more perfect place to be to convince her to make the stone."

"So are you going to do it?"

"Sure, unless you're volunteering."

Greed shrugs his time. "Fine, you take care of it. So I'm guess I get stuck with the tub of fat over here."

"Of course." I answer with a smile.

Greed rolls his eyes but we've already arrived at the graveyard. "Just wait here." I tell him going through the gate. "I doubt this will take very long."

I walk past countless gravestones before spotting a young woman sitting with her back towards me in front of a tombstone. I smile and approach her. I've disguised myself as a young man in plain clothes. So I doubt that she'll be able to see I'm a homunculus.

I approach her soundlessly until I'm standing behind her. "hello"  
She jumps slightly and turns to look at me. Her hair is auburn and her eyes are a vibrant blue. She stands up and smiles. "Hello, do I know you?"

"No, but you've apparently met an acquaintance of mine."

"Really? Who?"

"Dante."

Her face is blank for a moment before her bright smile returns. "Oh yes, lady Dante. She came through her when I was a kid. How do you know her?"

"Let's just say she's a relation of mine and leave it at that."

"Oh." There was a long pause. "I'm sorry I don't even know your name. I'm Jamie Lee."

"I have many names but you can call me Envy."

"That's an odd name."

"My mother wasn't a practical woman."

"Oh." She looks away, her eyes lingering on the gravestone. I move so that I'm standing next to her. I examine the marker too. "Someone you know?"

"Yes, my sister. She died several years ago during a raid from local bandits. My parents died in the raid also."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I still don't understand it. I'm an alchemist and my loosing my family didn't make sense with the law of equivalent exchange."

"'Mankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.' Yes I can see how that would confuse you."

"You're an alchemist?"

I shrug. "Not really. I've studied the art but I've never really preformed it. But what I do know," I walk around the back of the gravestone and put my hand on it. "is that you can use alchemy to bring them back."

She looks at me for a long time as if she isn't sure how to respond, then she turns away from me. "I can't, human transmutation is a forbidden art. Besides it's impossible to do successfully."

"Not true. You see if you had the philosophers stone you can break the alchemic laws and gain without giving."

"I don't know how to create a philosophers stone."

"You don't have to, because I can show you how."

She looks at me for a moment. "If you know how then why don't you create one yourself?"

I smile and let out a short laugh. Walking around the gravestone I slowly start to transform. "Well that's simple. You see I can't." I've changed back into my normal form and I'm standing in front of a frightened Jamie.

"What are you?"

"I'm a homunculus. The result of a semi-successful transmutation. But you see, we homunculi can't perform alchemy, but our master needs the stone."

"For what?"

"A variety of things. Including making us human." It's a lie that Dante's fed me the past few years. I know she won't do it and I must admit the notion of becoming human is too appealing to me.

"Us? There's more of you?"

"Just two and we want to become full humans like you. So you see you can bring your family back and fulfill our wishes at the same time. So what do you say?"

She looks at me for a long time before she closes her eyes. "I don't know. How do I know I can even do it?"

I advance and run my fingers through her hair. "Don't worry about it. You're smart, I can tell that just by looking at you. All you need is to be told how to do it and I know you'll do a perfect job."

She looks up at me, her face red with embarrassment. "Ok, tell me what to do."

I make arrangements with her to meet at her house tonight before leaving the graveyard. Greed looks up as I approach him.

"That took a bit longer than I thought. What happened?"

I jump over the gate. "Sorry, she was a bit more resistant than I expected."

"So, is she going to do it or not?"

"yes. I made plans to meet her tonight."

"You think she'll be able to do it?"

"Yeah. She smart. Gullible, but smart." I turn my attention to Gluttony who was gnawing on a stray piece of rusted metal. "What's with him?"

"He said he was hungry and just started chewing on that." Greed answers, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Great, he's the human garbage can." I sigh. "Well we've got until tonight to figure out everything we can about this town."

"Why?"

"Because if this works then she'll sacrifice everyone here. There's more than enough souls here to make a good sized philosophers stone."

"So you do know how to make one."

"More or less. It's not all that hard. There's several methods. The longer one is where they make red water using human souls and then purifying it to make into a stone. Or a wide scale sacrifice where you concentrate the souls into either your body or a object by means of a circle to form it. The problem is that the person performing it will die if they attach it to an object. Or, if they form it inside themselves, loose parts of their body as the stone is used up."

"Why would them die if they attached it to an object?"

"You really didn't pay attention when I taught you alchemy, did you? If you attach it to something other than your soul then your soul will also be included in the sacrifice. And if you form it inside yourself it's attached to your soul and you'll be gone when it's gone. It's a very cruel process."

"So either way we win right?"

"Yup. So right now we need to find out about this town and the land it's built on so we can get rid of it when she finishes her transmutation. Either she'll die in the process or she'll eventually die when Dante's done transferring her soul half a dozen times."

Jamie lives in a good sized house right in the middle of the town. Greed and Gluttony stay on the outskirts of the town while I go and see Jamie. I think it's best if she didn't see them yet.

I knock on her door and she immediately answers. I don't bother changing my shape for her this time. She knows what I am, so what's the point?

"Hello, ready for your first lesson?"

She nods, "Come in."

Her house is filled with books and it has an un-lived-in feel. The floorboards creak as I walk on them.

"So what do I do first?" she asks.

I smile slightly, glad to see that she wants to get to work quickly. "First you need to understand the components that make the stone. Although, you do remember what I told you earlier."

"Yes. The stone is made using human sacrifices. But I don't care. I'm going to do anything to make the stone. So I can bring them back."

I stroke her face, making it grow hot and red again. "Good girl. Now let's get to work."

Teaching her how to make the stone is like teaching Greed except much more enjoyable. Greed is thick and annoying, requiring patience and I always had to repeat myself. Jamie quickly absorbed the information I fed her, diligently working to research on how to make the stone.

I spend weeks teaching her and slowly I realize how infatuated she is with me. It was obvious the control I had over her that first day, but it still gives me some enjoyment when I can make her blush just by stroking her face or hair.

Greed's a bit impatient with me. He keeps telling me to hurry it up. I ignore him. I can tell he's just bored being stuck with Gluttony all day. Besides even if I could speed up the process I wouldn't. Playing with Jamie's emotions is too much fun. Besides, the longer it takes the longer I get to stay away from Dante.

I come by Jamie's house again. She's diligently scribbling alchemic equations in her notebook, several books open and stray papers balled up and scattered around her. I smile and stand behind her. The floor boards creak but she doesn't even notice, she just keeps writing, completely absorbed in her work. I stand over her, watching her work for a long time. I note her calculations accuracy and don't disturb her as she references her books and other notes.

Finally she lays down her pen and mutters. "I'm done."

"Good job." I comment.

She jumps with a slight gasp and turns to look at me. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Well you were busy so I didn't disturb you." I reply.

She looks back at the notes and picks them up. Getting out of the chair she carries them over to a bookshelf.

"So, you're finished with the calculations for the stone?"

"Yes. Now we just need to gather the other ingredients and assemble them here."

"I'm glad to see you thinking ahead."

She doesn't reply for a long time.

"Something wrong?"

Still no reply, then in barely a whisper. "What's going to happen after I make the stone, Envy?"

"That's simple. You said you'd take the stone into your body, right? Well then you can bring your family back and then you can help my master make me and the others into humans." Lying is so easy.

"And after that?"

I pause. After she makes the stone she'll be used to the end of her existence by Dante. Then she'll be gone. "What about after that?"

"Will I ever see you again?"

I look down and away. She's become more attached then I realized. "I don't know. Do you want to see me again? Are you sure I'm not just some horrible spot in your memory best left forgotten?" I say it in a sarcastic tone but I'm actually very serious.

"No." she replies turning to face me. "Envy, I—I've never met anyone like you before."

She approaches me as she talks and we're very close now. "I don't want you to leave."

Her face is close to mine and soon the gap between us disappears and her lips collide with mine. It's a foreign gesture and for a long time, I'm not really sure how to react.

Finally I return the kiss. I'm scared that I might be gaining affection for her. An emotion I was sure I had lost during my five-year imprisonment.

Finally we break apart. She looks at me for a while as I stroke her cheek. "If you make the stone, then I promise to stay with you." I lie.

She smiles and touches my hand. "Thank you."

Even if I wanted to, it would be impossible to have the relationship she was after. I'm not sure what these feelings are I have for her. All I know is that she wants me to stay with her. And if my promising to do that makes the stone, then so be it.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Without a Soul

Later that night I return to the outskirts of town where Greed and Gluttony have been waiting. I brush the confused feelings out of my mind and put on a mask of confidence.

"Jamie's decided to go to Central to acquire the ingredients. Apparently she knows a supplier there who can be of use to us."

Greed doesn't look at me.

"Hey, what's with you Greed?"

"So you're ok with Dante using your new lover as a means to survive?" he asks in a monotone, only a slight hint of a sneer sneaks into his voice.

"So you saw that." I say slowly. Then I grin. "So do I get an applause for my acting or is it just an honorary mention in your book?"

He looks at me, unconvinced. "Acting huh? It seemed pretty convincing to me."

"what are you getting at Greed? That I actually return her affection?"

"Maybe."

"Well for your information I feel very few emotions on the level you're talking about. And those are hate and revenge. Other than that it's just pleasure from manipulating these pathetic humans. Satisfied little brother?"

Greed rolls his eyes. "Whatever. So now what? We follow her to Central?"

"Yeah, make sure she's getting only what she needs and then get her back here to finish the stone." I sit down next to Gluttony and sigh, hoping that I was right about my not feeling for Jamie. I'm not sure what I feel anymore.

I'm not sure I want to feel anymore.

Jamie and I leave for Central, with Greed and Gluttony in our wake. Jamie seems more open with me now. I cover my feelings and I'm my usual self. I make it so she can't see my confused feelings about my situation.

About her.

Arriving at her house she takes off her jacket and hangs it on a hook. "Come on in." she says, leading me further in the house. I follow her, looking around as I walk. Pictures hang on the walls, bookshelves are scattered about. It seems normal enough to me.

She leads me to a library where she set the bag with the notes for the stone on a side table. She turns to look at me, her eyes are sad. Something's not right.

"Jamie, what's going—" there's cold metal that touches the back of my neck and I hear a males voice say "Put your hands up"  
I cock my head slightly and see it's a military officer. Looking at Jamie I resist the urge to lash out.

"I'm sorry Envy." She says. "I just can't do it."

"So you call the military on us." I say, more of a statement then a question. "What happened to you wanting to be with me?"

"I can't. I do want that. I want it more then anything. But my personal feelings can't override my loyalty to the army. You see…" she fiddles with something in her pocket before pulling out a silver pocket watch. "I'm a state alchemist."

State alchemists. Dog's of the military. Text book fact turning into someone who claims to love me and is now betraying me.

"I said put your hands up." The man insists, pushing the barrel into my neck.

"So everything you said was a lie then?"

"No. I love you Envy I do, but…" she puts her watch down. "I can never be with you. You're not human. You're a homunculus. A monster."

Memories hit me like a brick wall. Hoenhiem running away from me. Dante's cruel smile as she plunges the spear into my back.

"Am I a monster, Dante?"

"Yes…"

Jamie's crying now. Tears push themselves forward too, demanding to be paid attention to. But they're of hate, not sadness.

I raise my hands slowly for the ma behind me. "You may be sorry Jamie," I say in a quiet voice. "But I'm not."

I turn and kick the man behind me hard. He collapses but then other military officials appear out of nowhere, their weapons pointed at me.

"Where are the others?" one of them demands.

"Not telling." I reply.

They open fire on my but I dodge and run out of the way, eventually crashing through a window and into the street.

The last thing I saw was Jamie's tear streaked face. I don't think I'm ever going to see her again.

I run through the streets, cursing myself for being so careless. Now the stone's never going to be completed, at least not with her.

Skidding around the corner I see greed and Gluttony. I halt in front of them, panting slightly.

"What happened?" Greed growled.

I tell him and he explodes. "She's a what?!"

"A state alchemist. Don't make me say it again."

"And you couldn't tell?"

"No, and as I recall the militaries after us so we gotta move and fast."

"Any ideas on how we're going to do that genius?"

I look out on the road where cars are speeding past. "Just one." I jump into the air and land on he nose of a car. The driver is startled and screeches to a halt. Opening the drivers door I drag the startle cab driver out. "Sorry, we need to borrow this."

Greed and Gluttony climb into the car as I settle into the drivers set. It's already in gear so I just slam the door as Greed settles next to me.

"Envy, have you every driven before?"

"Nope." I find the gas and slam my foot on it just as three black cars come around the corner sirens blaring.

We speed down the road, dodging incoming traffic and making people jump out of our way as we screech down the road.

"Why do you get to drive?" Greed asks.

"Because I'm the oldest, that's why!"

"Oh that's a good excuse."

I swerve out of the way of another car and shake Greed up enough that he stops complaining.

"So where are we going? Back to the church?"

"Are you kidding me?! Dante would kill us if we dragged half the military down to the underground city."

"But doesn't she care if we're captured?"

"Dante doesn't care about any of us. It's an idea I suggest you get used to."

I turn a sharp corner but the cars are still hot on our trail. It turns out to be a dead end ahead and I curse loudly. Now what?

Glancing in the rear-view mirror I can see the cars catching up to us. I also catch a glimpse of Gluttony who's idly sucking on his pointer finger, unaffected by our situation.

Then I have and idea. "Hey Gluttony." I say, braking and turning the car off. "You hungry?"

End 


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